Could this post BE any more relevant to how I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks?
The fact that you wrote about your persisting insecurities and the difficulty of unlearning that there’s only one way to be is the refreshing stance I’ve been craving in the sea of preaching to “just love yourself the way you are” and I’m eternally grateful for that.
THE LAST LINE! Say it again! A strong sense of self is the thing that has always gotten me through the roughest times -- something beauty just doesn't feel capable of doing
once i realized that no matter how i look and act, people wouldn't like me, and that made me happy instead of sad. and thats because that just means i'm more valid for acting and looking the way that makes ME happy
This piece really hits home. It’s honest about how complicated beauty can feel, especially when you’ve spent years trying to meet standards that were never made for you. I appreciate how you didn’t try to wrap it all up with a neat self-love message, because sometimes we’re just not there yet. Audrey Hobert’s album sounds like the kind of raw, messy truth that makes you feel seen, and I love how you used it to reflect on your own journey.
The part about growing up in a culture that demands constant presentability really stuck with me. It’s exhausting trying to be “enough” all the time. And the reminder that we don’t need to be the most beautiful, funniest, or smartest person in the room to deserve good things - that’s powerful.
Thanks for sharing something that’s not just relatable, but real.
Thank you for showing up authentically as well. I know that it can be really hard to even express your insecurities out loud, and I liked this writing of yours very much. Keep up the good work.
"I'd rather scare you than seduce you" is such a power move, and honestly, the fact that Audrey Hobert in clown prosthetics is what finally unlocked your essay on beauty is perfect. Sometimes we need someone else to reject the script before we can give ourselves permission to do the same.
What really got me is how you trace the layers of the trap: first you try to find worth in beauty, then you try to find it in "other" qualities like humour or intelligence, only to realize that's just another performance. The insecure girl is still there beneath the coolness and brilliance because you're still trying to be something valuable instead of just being. That's the real insight here—shifting from "what makes me deserving?" to "I don't need to deserve anything."
The line about coming of age in a society that "prides itself on being pristine despite living in humid heat" is so evocative. There's something particularly cruel about beauty standards that demand you fight your actual environment, your actual body's natural responses to existing in the world.
And honestly? The fact that you started an essay about feeling beautiful, stopped relating to your own words after six hours, and almost abandoned it entirely is the most honest thing I've read about self-acceptance in a while. That is what it's like, fleeting moments of confidence interrupted by decades of conditioning. The point isn't to feel beautiful all the time. The point is to stop making "feeling beautiful" the price of admission to your own life.
This is only the second essay I have read by you, but each essay has made me feel so seen. While the feelings you write about may be common, they are not necessarily easy to write or speak about. There is a lot of vulnerability in opening up about one’s insecurities. This is also why Aubrey Hobert’s album resonated with me. Although I am not too fond of her musical style, the lyrics were incredibly honest and relatable. I found the songs Phoebe and Sex and the City especially relatable. These songs and this essay almost perfectly express the way I have been feeling for a very long time.
Beautifully written, Luisa, thank you. It used to be that my self-image was tied to a belief in God-- "fearfully and wonderfully made" and all that. After a long evolution, I am no longer theist, so I came to ask myself, "From where does my worth come?" Pondering the question led me to a different kind of faith-- faith that I have worth just by existing. It is "faith" because it's not something that is proven; it's a decision to believe that all life has value.
This was a genuinely enjoyable read. I resonated with the feeling of being not enough and trying to be pretty because it’s this mold that has been made for us.
Also I loved the album so much, feeling like a messy clown is what the entirety of my chaotic life felt like 👽
Being authentic in the day and age of micro trends and constant changing trends and aesthetics - where I’d argue that we are supposed to become brands rather than people is genuinely tiring and exhausting.
But I guess we just have to “nerd out” and find ourselves 🙌🏻
"Audrey offers a kind of cool that can only come from being yourself, even when it's messy and confusing and maybe a little embarrassing."
This is what has been occupying my thoughts for the past couple hours. And of which I've been compelled enough to write my most recent post on. It's more like an essay on the reflection I had which perhaps, in psycologyical terms, stems from my constant insecurity of feeling "uncool" and unworthy enough which lead me to justify why i had such few successful friendships in my current and past life. It ultimately led me to question this whole concept of coolness which seems to take a whole new definition in our generation. Anyway feel free to check my post out on that.
"Being comfortable in one’s skin is about knowing that there are no necessary requirements to be deserving of love and prosperity.
At the end of the day beauty fades with time, but a strong sense of self only gets better with age."
This was so wholesomely and beautifully put and truly personal, thank you Luisa for this insightful and reflective piece. 💜
Could this post BE any more relevant to how I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks?
The fact that you wrote about your persisting insecurities and the difficulty of unlearning that there’s only one way to be is the refreshing stance I’ve been craving in the sea of preaching to “just love yourself the way you are” and I’m eternally grateful for that.
thanks, rita <3 sending you love
THE LAST LINE! Say it again! A strong sense of self is the thing that has always gotten me through the roughest times -- something beauty just doesn't feel capable of doing
once i realized that no matter how i look and act, people wouldn't like me, and that made me happy instead of sad. and thats because that just means i'm more valid for acting and looking the way that makes ME happy
This piece really hits home. It’s honest about how complicated beauty can feel, especially when you’ve spent years trying to meet standards that were never made for you. I appreciate how you didn’t try to wrap it all up with a neat self-love message, because sometimes we’re just not there yet. Audrey Hobert’s album sounds like the kind of raw, messy truth that makes you feel seen, and I love how you used it to reflect on your own journey.
The part about growing up in a culture that demands constant presentability really stuck with me. It’s exhausting trying to be “enough” all the time. And the reminder that we don’t need to be the most beautiful, funniest, or smartest person in the room to deserve good things - that’s powerful.
Thanks for sharing something that’s not just relatable, but real.
another wonderful piece luisa, you’re a star x
On the nose, loved the album!!
i really love this ❤️
❤️
Thank you for showing up authentically as well. I know that it can be really hard to even express your insecurities out loud, and I liked this writing of yours very much. Keep up the good work.
"I'd rather scare you than seduce you" is such a power move, and honestly, the fact that Audrey Hobert in clown prosthetics is what finally unlocked your essay on beauty is perfect. Sometimes we need someone else to reject the script before we can give ourselves permission to do the same.
What really got me is how you trace the layers of the trap: first you try to find worth in beauty, then you try to find it in "other" qualities like humour or intelligence, only to realize that's just another performance. The insecure girl is still there beneath the coolness and brilliance because you're still trying to be something valuable instead of just being. That's the real insight here—shifting from "what makes me deserving?" to "I don't need to deserve anything."
The line about coming of age in a society that "prides itself on being pristine despite living in humid heat" is so evocative. There's something particularly cruel about beauty standards that demand you fight your actual environment, your actual body's natural responses to existing in the world.
And honestly? The fact that you started an essay about feeling beautiful, stopped relating to your own words after six hours, and almost abandoned it entirely is the most honest thing I've read about self-acceptance in a while. That is what it's like, fleeting moments of confidence interrupted by decades of conditioning. The point isn't to feel beautiful all the time. The point is to stop making "feeling beautiful" the price of admission to your own life.
This is only the second essay I have read by you, but each essay has made me feel so seen. While the feelings you write about may be common, they are not necessarily easy to write or speak about. There is a lot of vulnerability in opening up about one’s insecurities. This is also why Aubrey Hobert’s album resonated with me. Although I am not too fond of her musical style, the lyrics were incredibly honest and relatable. I found the songs Phoebe and Sex and the City especially relatable. These songs and this essay almost perfectly express the way I have been feeling for a very long time.
as someone who prides themselves for being "the funny one" i couldn't relate more. thank you for writing this.
Beautifully written, Luisa, thank you. It used to be that my self-image was tied to a belief in God-- "fearfully and wonderfully made" and all that. After a long evolution, I am no longer theist, so I came to ask myself, "From where does my worth come?" Pondering the question led me to a different kind of faith-- faith that I have worth just by existing. It is "faith" because it's not something that is proven; it's a decision to believe that all life has value.
I can easily say your writing is very pretty !
This was a genuinely enjoyable read. I resonated with the feeling of being not enough and trying to be pretty because it’s this mold that has been made for us.
Also I loved the album so much, feeling like a messy clown is what the entirety of my chaotic life felt like 👽
Being authentic in the day and age of micro trends and constant changing trends and aesthetics - where I’d argue that we are supposed to become brands rather than people is genuinely tiring and exhausting.
But I guess we just have to “nerd out” and find ourselves 🙌🏻
"Audrey offers a kind of cool that can only come from being yourself, even when it's messy and confusing and maybe a little embarrassing."
This is what has been occupying my thoughts for the past couple hours. And of which I've been compelled enough to write my most recent post on. It's more like an essay on the reflection I had which perhaps, in psycologyical terms, stems from my constant insecurity of feeling "uncool" and unworthy enough which lead me to justify why i had such few successful friendships in my current and past life. It ultimately led me to question this whole concept of coolness which seems to take a whole new definition in our generation. Anyway feel free to check my post out on that.
"Being comfortable in one’s skin is about knowing that there are no necessary requirements to be deserving of love and prosperity.
At the end of the day beauty fades with time, but a strong sense of self only gets better with age."
This was so wholesomely and beautifully put and truly personal, thank you Luisa for this insightful and reflective piece. 💜