At heart, I am a romantic. I am also a realist and a cynic. I’m picky when it comes to movies listed under the genre of romance because contrary to popular belief these stories are some of the hardest to tell well.
My Letterboxd four favorites explain exactly the type of romantic movie I am into.
But these are movies everyone knows (for a reason!)
Good romance stories exist but they are often overlooked and ill-favored over glossy shallow romcoms. Among the myriad of undercooked, bland, and unrealistic in love couples depicted on the screen I have found some gems that a lot of people don’t know about. I wanted to compile all these movies onto a list, and so I did.
This letter contains a list of not-so-popular romantic films + songs that fit the story.
Requirements
When creating this list I had three components in mind:
Chemistry: I need to believe the couple wants to live in each other’s skin. So many modern romcoms cast good-looking actors who are more worried about looking beautiful on camera than showing any emotion. I don’t want to see lip fillers, surgically-made strong jawlines, unmoving faces due tobotox, and sick packs on my TV. A good romance movie makes me believe the actors are in love. If I don’t believe it, I don’t want it.
Good dialogue: A bad script makes up a bad movie. The dialogue in romantic movies along with the chemistry between actors is the most important element of the whole thing. Low budget? It doesn’t matter, as long as your characters seem interested in each other and have realistic conversations I am buying.
Small details: Mr. Darcy’s hand flex, Jesse and Celine at the listening booth, Sebastian playing Mia’s and his theme before she leaves his bar. All of these details make my favorite movies my favorite movies. I love longing glances, hands that almost touch, arms that brush. A good romance movie has a combination of small details that serve as a storytelling tool without having to say much.
This is for all the romantics looking for stories with the perfect amount of realism and romance.
May love find you in all its ways. I love you all very much.
Si yo encontrara un alma como la mía
Cuantas cosas secretas le contaría
Un alma que al mirarme, sin decir nada
Me lo dijese todo con la mirada
- Alma mía, Natalia Lafourcade
Medianeras (2011) by Gustavo Taretto
Sidewalls is the English name for this Argentinian film about two loners who constantly cross paths but miss each other. It is a story about Buenos Aires in the age of online love, a mix of the love for architecture and the human psyche, casual relationships, and missed connections.
The monologues are profound, but they don’t expect the viewer to think too much. Is funny but not quite a comedy. Is romantic, but not quite a romance film. It has everything I love about a movie and the final scene is 10/10.
I spun 'round and screamed, "I feel elated when you hold me"
And you got shy and beamed, "I think it's special that you told me"
I think you're special 'cause you told me
- Pegasus, Arlo Parks ft Phoebe Bridgers
The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995) by Maria Maggenti
Randy is a working-class lesbian living in a community with her aunt and other older lesbians. Evie is a wealthy, popular girl with a boyfriend. When Evie befriends Randy, they begin to feel things they have never felt before.
A 90’s lesbian coming-of-age story that more people should know about. Is fun, sweet and so ahead of its time.
I've got things to do like nothing at all
I wanna do them with you
Do you wanna do them with me?
- Sweet, Lana del rey
Fallen Leaves (2023) by Aki Kaurismäki
Ansa and Holappa are two lonely souls looking for love. They meet by chance in a local karaoke bar but life puts them through hardships that prevent them from being together.
This film is not overtly romantic. However, it is an excellent depiction of how contemporary romance and relationships can impact working-class people. It focuses on their ordinary lives and the challenges they face every day. Is a story about real people yearning for company to make their difficult lives a little more tolerable.
& it's you I need in the summertime
As I turn my white skin red
Two peas from the same pod yes we are
Or have I read too much fiction?
Is this how it happens?
- Summertime, The Sundays
Watching the Detectives (2007)
Lucy Liu and Cillian Murphy star in a romantic comedy that is not what it seems. An alternative film geek meets a manic pixie dream girl. What could go wrong?
A cult classic that is better to watch without knowing too much about it. If you are unhinged and believe no one could ever match your freak, this is the movie for you.
Your kiss, my cheek
I watched you leave
Your smile, my ghost
I fell to my knees
When you're young, you just run
But you come back to what you need
- This Love, Taylor Swift
Us and Them (2018) by René Liu
Xiaoxiao and Jianqing meet on a train. They get off the train together and become inseparable. Until fate breaks them apart. Ten years later, they meet again on a plane and spend a night together.
This was my last addition to the list and the one I am most excited for people to watch. If you liked Past Lives you will eat this up.
I've been hating everything
Everything that could have been
Could have been my anything
Now everything's embarrassing
Acting like it's nothing, such a bore
I saw the truth and I just can't ignore
You're trying to hold the heart that can't be stored
- Everything Is Embarrassing, Sky Ferreira
Shithouse (2020) by Cooper Raiff
Alex has no friends, hates his roommate, and misses home. One night, he goes to a house party and meets Maggie. They spend the night together, but when morning comes Maggie withdraws leaving Alex hurt and confused.
Based on the director’s freshman year in college Shithouse is a mirror to a lot of people’s first-year struggles. More than a romantic film, this is a coming-of-age story. Their chemistry is through the roof and a great representation of having a crush on someone you barely know.
We weren't in love but we were pretty damn close
When you said you had to go
Couldn't finish what you started
- The Edge, Sydney Ross Mitchell
Stay the Night (2022) by Renuka Jeyapalan
A failed work opportunity prompts chronically single Grace to pursue a one-night stand with a stranger. Turns out he’s an on-the-out professional hockey player in town with a problem of his own. They both have something the other needs.
Watching Grace was painful because she is so much like me. She refuses to make the first move, is oblivious to people crushing on her, and then complains about her lack of romance. This movie is short, sweet, and has the perfect amount of reflective conversations.
What else could I ask?
I was not planning on writing a listicle about films, but I was inspired by all the love around me this past week. This is my favorite compilation I’ve done so far, I hope you enjoyed it and found at least something you haven’t watched. If you have any recommendations pleaseeeee leave them below.
Also, keep in mind, that these stories are not in-your-face romances, they feel very mundane and real. At the end of the day, that is the type of love I gravitate towards; a meteor strike in between work shifts, family drama, and internal struggles.
May I recommend Mississippi Masala? Wonderful romance film that explores the idea of belonging to a place and to each other.
It stars Sarita Choudhury, who has a face that deserves to be filmed. Drop dead gorgeous. And also young Denzel which you know this man has been beautiful his whole life.
I haven’t been into films much lately - at home or the cinema - because nothing has gripped me. But this list certainly does. I’m not usually drawn to romcoms, but like you, I love romance that feels real, like the ones you’ve described. So, thank you ❤️