thank you for capturing some of the thoughts i’ve been having so well! i haven’t been able to relate to many of the posts i’ve been seeing on social media lately regarding being bisexual because of the misplaced criticism of lesbians but i’m really glad that your piece doesn’t place blame on lesbians and it can inspire bisexual women to understand our sexuality more deeply!
Really loved this Luisa <3 This is a really important discussion to have on the internet. I'm a bisexual woman, and to be able to date women, I had to fight tooth and nail against my compulsory heterosexuality. It took me years to admit that I was bisexual, and then another year to find the courage to start swiping on women on dating apps. The whole thing was such scary journey, and I had to commit to it: I deactivated men on apps for a while and solely focused on women. And gosh, the anxiety.. I was terrified on my first dates with women because I had no idea how to behave, how to flirt, how to do anything. But as time went by, things only got easier, and I've been in a wonderful relationship with a woman for almost two years now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is really hard and there is no manual on how to do it, but it is rewarding. Also, there is a lot of shame out there, and many people tend to shame bisexual women for dating exclusively men, which doesn't help. What does help, though, is bisexual women sharing how terrified they are and talking about it like you just did. The best thing we can do is help each other out.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your story, it really is needed. I also watched "Am I Okay?" and liked this aspect too. Yes, there is pride in being gay, but before pride, there is fear, and it makes so much sense. It's valid. Let's just not let it consume us
Thank you for achknowledging the complexity of this conversation!!!! As a lesbian I really appreciate this perspective and recognizing both internalized homophobia and patriarchal shit ingrained in all of us at play!
"A lot of bi women are not willing to have a partner that challenges them emotionally. They find comfort in dating men because most of them are devoid of emotional intelligence."
This^
I've written about vulnerability on my page and what that looked like coming to terms with my sexuality, so I hope if you ever read it, it encourages you just like your post did to me!
Deconstructing, driving forward, all of it - it’s worth it all. Finding the kind of peace that comes when you’re finally beyond the edge that keeps you in place, wholeheartedly worth it. As a queer who grew up in a religious and dysfunctional household - things get better, and love is truly fucking real.
I don’t identify as bisexual, pansexual rather, but the points were hitting!! Great take! De-centering men has been my most recent journey. Living in a church driven state, I never knew that was an option. So glad these are discussions being taken seriously nowadays.
PS: Thank you for the movie suggestion, brb going to watch right now!
thank you for capturing some of the thoughts i’ve been having so well! i haven’t been able to relate to many of the posts i’ve been seeing on social media lately regarding being bisexual because of the misplaced criticism of lesbians but i’m really glad that your piece doesn’t place blame on lesbians and it can inspire bisexual women to understand our sexuality more deeply!
Really loved this Luisa <3 This is a really important discussion to have on the internet. I'm a bisexual woman, and to be able to date women, I had to fight tooth and nail against my compulsory heterosexuality. It took me years to admit that I was bisexual, and then another year to find the courage to start swiping on women on dating apps. The whole thing was such scary journey, and I had to commit to it: I deactivated men on apps for a while and solely focused on women. And gosh, the anxiety.. I was terrified on my first dates with women because I had no idea how to behave, how to flirt, how to do anything. But as time went by, things only got easier, and I've been in a wonderful relationship with a woman for almost two years now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is really hard and there is no manual on how to do it, but it is rewarding. Also, there is a lot of shame out there, and many people tend to shame bisexual women for dating exclusively men, which doesn't help. What does help, though, is bisexual women sharing how terrified they are and talking about it like you just did. The best thing we can do is help each other out.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your story, it really is needed. I also watched "Am I Okay?" and liked this aspect too. Yes, there is pride in being gay, but before pride, there is fear, and it makes so much sense. It's valid. Let's just not let it consume us
this is too sweet, thanks mel!! im so happy that you challenged yourself and find a partner who loves all aspects of you <3
Thank you for achknowledging the complexity of this conversation!!!! As a lesbian I really appreciate this perspective and recognizing both internalized homophobia and patriarchal shit ingrained in all of us at play!
"A lot of bi women are not willing to have a partner that challenges them emotionally. They find comfort in dating men because most of them are devoid of emotional intelligence."
This^
I've written about vulnerability on my page and what that looked like coming to terms with my sexuality, so I hope if you ever read it, it encourages you just like your post did to me!
xoxo
Deconstructing, driving forward, all of it - it’s worth it all. Finding the kind of peace that comes when you’re finally beyond the edge that keeps you in place, wholeheartedly worth it. As a queer who grew up in a religious and dysfunctional household - things get better, and love is truly fucking real.
I don’t identify as bisexual, pansexual rather, but the points were hitting!! Great take! De-centering men has been my most recent journey. Living in a church driven state, I never knew that was an option. So glad these are discussions being taken seriously nowadays.
PS: Thank you for the movie suggestion, brb going to watch right now!
thank you for this 💓 i feel so seen!!
yes, yes. cannot even articulate how seen i feel
This was a much needed letter. And the movie will be perfect for this month to watch. So will try to watch it 💌
Thank you for writing this very thoughtful post <3