i seriously want to thank you for how beautifully written and exceptionally put-together this piece was. i grew up in a south european contry so, very, very, catholic as well, though my closest family members never actively prayed or went to church - like you friends, they say they just like to believe in something. at 12 i became a science geek and figured out that all things couldn't have been concieved by god, just nature, at 13 i learnt about how the Christians basically burned down most of the intellectual property of the greek empire (i will never forgive them for that) and at 15 i realized i was bisexual. when I was depressed i listened to 1975's "if i believe you" and hoped to be able to have a god to turn to, to scream at, so he could save me. i tried spirituality, and meditation and tarot but nothing stuck. now i flow through the world and society freely, and, not only do i believe in humans like you mentioned, i believe in myself. that has been the biggest thing for me. i beliebe good things will come to me because I hold the power in my own life. and if it doesn't go to plan, then that was just what was supposed to happen. believing in oneself is such a powerful thing, so much so than God
As someone who’s feeling lost with regard to my spirituality/faith, this piece was very insightful and beautifully written 🤍 . I still believe in god i talk to him a lot but the religion ive grown up with seems to be practicing/promoting faith thru fear, oppression and it never sit right with me.
what is beautiful about faith is that it’s yours alone, you can choose what to believe and how you want to nurture your relationship with god, no one can tell you how to live but yourself
yes yes I totally love this, tbh it's frustrating trying to explain this to believers or theist agnostics, for the record I'm an atheist, as u said I have never believed truly, if anything I believed that heaven and hell were metaphors I didn't expect ppl to actually believe they are real, and through my very short experience in this life and with ppl, I think that some of us are just born truth seekers while the rest aren't, I'm not mad about it on an individual level, I truly gathered too much compassion especially after embracing nihilism, but we can't ignore the way religions are rooted in oppressive systems, sorry for the rant it's just this topic comes to my mind often and it's confusing how to deal with an individual vs systems. ♡
pleaseee, dont apologize, i love when people leave me long comments with their insights.
and i agree, compassion can be acquired by many mediums, religion is just one of them, and i love how you said “some of us are just born truth seekers while the rest aren’t” brilliant
i loved reading this so much! i relate to a lot of parts of this. i grew up in christianity but i’ve always struggled to believe in any religion; i went through a phase where i tried to force myself to believe in a god and be part of a religion again, but i got tired of it too. i felt a sense of peace that i hadn’t before when i accepted that wasn’t who i could be.
i do find comfort in astrology and new-age spiritualism to a certain degree; i wouldn’t say we blame ourselves if we don’t manifest, or that we blame other people for bad things happening—at least that’s not the way i approach it. i don’t quite know how to explain, but it guides me with reflecting and creating goals for myself, and i feel more gratitude for being alive through my spirituality. it’s not something that guides my way of life completely though.
i take what works for me. i believe in my own power the most, and human connection too. it’s freeing that way.
"I want to finish by saying that the reason why I have shied away from religion is not because something traumatic happened to me. I just got tired of pretending I believed in something I didn’t. I don’t feel drawn to religion in the sense that I don’t feel the need for guidance from an omnipotent force. Nor do I feel the need to believe in anything greater than myself to give me reassurance that everything will be ok. I no longer perform religious rituals because my friends do it. I have grown and have learned to accept my skepticism towards life and its meaning."
This resonated with me, as someone who also came to terms with agnosticism in her teens.
Growing up in Colombia and not having a Confirmation did change the way some of my family members saw, but at the end it felt more real than doing so and having a constant ache in my back that marks me with the word sinner. In a way, it freed me from something I didn't know was choking me. My mom says I am too much of a philosopher to be religious. To this day I think she's wrong because most of my favourite philosophers were Catholic, yet somehow she is also right. (Loved the piece and loved the voice of your writing.)
I can deeply relate to this. Recently I found a Unitarian Universalist church, because my 7 yo child was interested in religion and I searched high and low to find something that would give her that freedom but still be aligned with the values I wish to teach her. The UU church is honestly such a breath of fresh air, and I feel really comfortable attending as a queer atheist/agnostic. It’s welcoming to people of all faiths or lack there of, with the goal of forming a spiritual community surrounding the principles of respect and acceptance to all fellow humans. It’s not loaded with a bunch of new age woo woo practices either. There are occasions mentions of god and a higher power, but it’s rare at my church, and made known that each person will have their own meaning and relationship to those words. As someone raised Catholic, who fell away from the faith when I was 12 - it’s been really healing.
I relate to everything you said in this! Being a skeptical while you're surrounded by belivers is incredibly lonely and isolating. I don't think i ever belived in God, even as a child who practically grew up in the church, but realizing i was queer made it much more difficult to connect to religion and those who follow it. My family goes to church 3 days a week, prays before meals, only listens to gospel music, and so on, and all of that makes me feel like such an outsider.
It would be nice to believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is someone looking out for you, but i can't do that when believing comes with so many strings attached.
This may be an accurate description of Catholicism, but it's (fortunately) not an accurate view of the God I believe in. My God sent his son Jesus to be the payment for our sin, so that rather than single, simple rules of the Old Testament and a specific bloodline of the Israelites, accepting Jesus made me a child of God. And rather than following specific rules (although they are still the right way) I find myself motivated to please God by doing many different things. The statement "God hates divorce" motivates me to do thousands of little kindnesses for my wife. Only one rule, but many expressions of it. This is the beauty of my kind of religion. Seeing how much good you can do, rather than how much evil you can get away with.
i seriously want to thank you for how beautifully written and exceptionally put-together this piece was. i grew up in a south european contry so, very, very, catholic as well, though my closest family members never actively prayed or went to church - like you friends, they say they just like to believe in something. at 12 i became a science geek and figured out that all things couldn't have been concieved by god, just nature, at 13 i learnt about how the Christians basically burned down most of the intellectual property of the greek empire (i will never forgive them for that) and at 15 i realized i was bisexual. when I was depressed i listened to 1975's "if i believe you" and hoped to be able to have a god to turn to, to scream at, so he could save me. i tried spirituality, and meditation and tarot but nothing stuck. now i flow through the world and society freely, and, not only do i believe in humans like you mentioned, i believe in myself. that has been the biggest thing for me. i beliebe good things will come to me because I hold the power in my own life. and if it doesn't go to plan, then that was just what was supposed to happen. believing in oneself is such a powerful thing, so much so than God
believing in oneself is THE most powerful thing. and same with 'if i believe you' that was my song for yearssss, thanks for reading and commenting 💕
As someone who’s feeling lost with regard to my spirituality/faith, this piece was very insightful and beautifully written 🤍 . I still believe in god i talk to him a lot but the religion ive grown up with seems to be practicing/promoting faith thru fear, oppression and it never sit right with me.
what is beautiful about faith is that it’s yours alone, you can choose what to believe and how you want to nurture your relationship with god, no one can tell you how to live but yourself
yes yes I totally love this, tbh it's frustrating trying to explain this to believers or theist agnostics, for the record I'm an atheist, as u said I have never believed truly, if anything I believed that heaven and hell were metaphors I didn't expect ppl to actually believe they are real, and through my very short experience in this life and with ppl, I think that some of us are just born truth seekers while the rest aren't, I'm not mad about it on an individual level, I truly gathered too much compassion especially after embracing nihilism, but we can't ignore the way religions are rooted in oppressive systems, sorry for the rant it's just this topic comes to my mind often and it's confusing how to deal with an individual vs systems. ♡
pleaseee, dont apologize, i love when people leave me long comments with their insights.
and i agree, compassion can be acquired by many mediums, religion is just one of them, and i love how you said “some of us are just born truth seekers while the rest aren’t” brilliant
thx omg I get a mini panic attack everytime I comment 😭
i loved reading this so much! i relate to a lot of parts of this. i grew up in christianity but i’ve always struggled to believe in any religion; i went through a phase where i tried to force myself to believe in a god and be part of a religion again, but i got tired of it too. i felt a sense of peace that i hadn’t before when i accepted that wasn’t who i could be.
i do find comfort in astrology and new-age spiritualism to a certain degree; i wouldn’t say we blame ourselves if we don’t manifest, or that we blame other people for bad things happening—at least that’s not the way i approach it. i don’t quite know how to explain, but it guides me with reflecting and creating goals for myself, and i feel more gratitude for being alive through my spirituality. it’s not something that guides my way of life completely though.
i take what works for me. i believe in my own power the most, and human connection too. it’s freeing that way.
"I want to finish by saying that the reason why I have shied away from religion is not because something traumatic happened to me. I just got tired of pretending I believed in something I didn’t. I don’t feel drawn to religion in the sense that I don’t feel the need for guidance from an omnipotent force. Nor do I feel the need to believe in anything greater than myself to give me reassurance that everything will be ok. I no longer perform religious rituals because my friends do it. I have grown and have learned to accept my skepticism towards life and its meaning."
This resonated with me, as someone who also came to terms with agnosticism in her teens.
loved this piece
Growing up in Colombia and not having a Confirmation did change the way some of my family members saw, but at the end it felt more real than doing so and having a constant ache in my back that marks me with the word sinner. In a way, it freed me from something I didn't know was choking me. My mom says I am too much of a philosopher to be religious. To this day I think she's wrong because most of my favourite philosophers were Catholic, yet somehow she is also right. (Loved the piece and loved the voice of your writing.)
being too much of a philosopher to be religious is actually such a good compliment. thank u for reading <3
such a beautifully written piece 🤍
I,too, had an impactful experience listening to chinese satellite.
this is such a well-written and beautiful piece! i adore you and your writing! <3
thanks, sarah!!! you’re the sweetest and i love everything you write 💕
such an insightful but also tender and beautifully written piece <3
so beautiful 🤍
Beautiful :-)
I can deeply relate to this. Recently I found a Unitarian Universalist church, because my 7 yo child was interested in religion and I searched high and low to find something that would give her that freedom but still be aligned with the values I wish to teach her. The UU church is honestly such a breath of fresh air, and I feel really comfortable attending as a queer atheist/agnostic. It’s welcoming to people of all faiths or lack there of, with the goal of forming a spiritual community surrounding the principles of respect and acceptance to all fellow humans. It’s not loaded with a bunch of new age woo woo practices either. There are occasions mentions of god and a higher power, but it’s rare at my church, and made known that each person will have their own meaning and relationship to those words. As someone raised Catholic, who fell away from the faith when I was 12 - it’s been really healing.
I relate to everything you said in this! Being a skeptical while you're surrounded by belivers is incredibly lonely and isolating. I don't think i ever belived in God, even as a child who practically grew up in the church, but realizing i was queer made it much more difficult to connect to religion and those who follow it. My family goes to church 3 days a week, prays before meals, only listens to gospel music, and so on, and all of that makes me feel like such an outsider.
It would be nice to believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is someone looking out for you, but i can't do that when believing comes with so many strings attached.
This may be an accurate description of Catholicism, but it's (fortunately) not an accurate view of the God I believe in. My God sent his son Jesus to be the payment for our sin, so that rather than single, simple rules of the Old Testament and a specific bloodline of the Israelites, accepting Jesus made me a child of God. And rather than following specific rules (although they are still the right way) I find myself motivated to please God by doing many different things. The statement "God hates divorce" motivates me to do thousands of little kindnesses for my wife. Only one rule, but many expressions of it. This is the beauty of my kind of religion. Seeing how much good you can do, rather than how much evil you can get away with.